Two main terms:
Embedding: an unhelpful pattern of thought, emotion, or conversation that someone gets stuck in. Examples: belonging to a cult that mistreats its members, having excessive feelings of guilt or anxiety, being overly arrogant, or getting into a pointless argument. This definition leaves open a lot of unanswered questions (how does one decides if something is “excessive” or “pointless”?) These questions are a mystery for the reader to contemplate.
Responsivity: communicating in a way that values turn-taking, listening, authenticity, and perceptiveness. These are conditions for establishing a relationship of trust: I have to listen to and perceive your intent; I have to communicate my authentic intent to you; and we have to take turns communicating. In some cases, it can also be important to respond to another person’s contributions to show that one understands, hence the name “responsivity.”
Other terminology defined in the text:
Disembedding: “letting go of” or “getting unstuck from” an embedding.
Responfidence: The ability to pay attention to external cues and to feel good about oneself because of them.
Generesponsivity: relating in a way that values listening to and perceiving others in order to know how to meet their needs. (A word made by combining “generosity” + “responsivity”).
Terminology not defined in the text:
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: a theory that humans are motivated by a universal set of needs that we can name and enumerate, especially: physiological needs (food, water, shelter), security (safety; an insurance against risks to one’s physiological needs), belonging (a sense that one is connected to others), and esteem (status; self-esteem; a sense that one is an effective and moral person). There is also a need for “self-actualization,” which is notoriously hard to define.